


Gays Are Stupidly Oblivious: A Memoir by Hunk

by TakingOverMidnight3482



Series: Fluff Month (April 2020) [30]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Universe, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Other Characters Mentioned But Not Present - Freeform, Post-Season/Series Finale, fluff month
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23935882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TakingOverMidnight3482/pseuds/TakingOverMidnight3482
Summary: "I didn't think Keith told anyone else," Pidge hissed, scrunching in next to Hunk with haste.Hunk's head was spinning. "Told anyone else-?"Oh.Oh, holyshit.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: Fluff Month (April 2020) [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1685734
Comments: 4
Kudos: 203





	Gays Are Stupidly Oblivious: A Memoir by Hunk

**Author's Note:**

> Day Thirty: Duality (or, the actual prompt, which I didn't use because I didn't want to spoil it: Dual Proposals)
> 
> Fuck. I'm annoyed that I fell behind a day, but I'm very happy that I put these all out by the end of the month. And also that I can go back to writing non-fluffy shit because man, it's HARD. I'm very much a hurt-comfort, angst with a sappy ending bitch. But I hope that everyone found at least one fic that I put out this month that they vibed with in one way or another.
> 
> This one was a lot of fun to write, and I really wanted to do it in someone else's perspective, so I picked Hunk, because you know he's just fed up with all this nonsense. His pan ass was never THIS stupid.
> 
> Anyway...no new prompts at the bottom! Just a note from me! Enjoy!

If there was one thing Hunk knew was absolutely true, it was that Lance and Keith were _idiots._ Pure, gay idiots. He loved them dearly, of course – they had shared trauma (plus also he loved them, okay, he would literally die for them). That didn't change the fact in the slightest that they were both stupid as hell.

It took them almost four years after the war to admit they had feelings for each other. Lance, Hunk understood. He had to take the time to heal from Allura's death (not that that sting would ever truly be gone, of course), and then had to come to terms with the fact that he liked Keith of all people, someone he'd had a friendly rivalry with for nearly six and a half years. Longer, if you counted their time at the Garrison before Voltron was even a blip on their radar.

Keith, Hunk also kind of understood. He didn't want to encroach on Lance's healing time, which was sweet of him, but Hunk was perceptive, and Hunk had known Keith had a thing for Lance since pretty much week one of space travel, when they'd really gotten to all know each other.

Basically, he was kind of tired of the pining (so were Pidge and Shiro), and so when they finally got together, he almost threw a celebration.

Now, four years after the fact, they were getting together for their yearly "Voltron Meet Up" with everyone, and Lance was panicking in Hunk's room on Altea.

They had been the first two there, having pod-pooled from the Garrison, where Lance was teaching young pilots and Hunk had been taking leave after his cross-universe food culture appreciation course. Pidge and Keith had been off world working on a peace mission together, along with Matt, and Shiro and Curtis had been across the country taking a well deserved vacation in Australia. Coran was somewhere on the planet, but he was procuring food for the evening, so they had yet to see him.

"What if he says no?" Lance whined, pacing in front of Hunk, who was sitting on his bed watching in slight amusement but also the right amount of sympathy from a best friend. "What if he completely rejects me?"

"Lance," Hunk said for probably the thirtieth time in the last ten minutes. "Keith looks at you like you hung the quiznaking stars in the sky. He's not gonna say no."

Lance stared down at the ring box on the desk like it was going to jump up and bite him. To be fair, they'd seen stranger. "What if he's not ready though?" Lance wondered, and Hunk rolled his eyes, because he knew that both men had had in depth conversations about marriage, especially after Shiro and Curtis had gotten married.

Hunk stood, a little annoyed, a little empathetic, and gripped Lance by the shoulders, waiting until he met his eyes to smooth his hands down his friend's arms. "Hey. Dude. He's not gonna say no. Promise. And I'm gonna be right there, okay?"

"In the bushes," Lance confirmed, his body relaxing under Hunk's touch. It stiffened again in seconds. "Right? You brought your camera?"

Hunk nodded to his bag on the floor, which Lance had only checked on about seventeen times before they left Earth's atmosphere. It was his pride and joy, something he'd invested in so that he could capture the art of not only the food he prepared, but the vast expanse of the galaxy. "Lance. I brought the camera. I will get this for you, okay?"

Lance flopped into his grip, wrapping Hunk in a hug and pressing his nose into his shoulder. "Sorry I'm freaking out," he mumbled as Hunk hugged back.

"It's fine," Hunk chuckled. He eased Lance away from him, squeezing his arms tightly. "Hey. I'm happy for you, okay man?"

Lance's smile was child-like and giddy, his cheeks flushing. "Thanks, dude. You didn't say anything to Pidge or Shiro o-or anyone, right? I don't want any chance of this getting ruined."

Hunk dragged an invisible zipper across his mouth. "Lips are sealed, buddy. You might want to chill out, though. Everyone else is gonna be here any minute, and if you look like you're about to pass out, someone might get suspicious."

Lance took a deep breath, patted his cheeks, and pocketed the box. "Right. Right. Okay. Let's go."

He held out his arm, grinning, and Hunk took it with an equally large smile, walking side by side to the living room to prep for the rest of their friend's arrivals.

~~

Bushes were awful.

They were pointy and scratchy and when there weren't flowers on them, they were ugly and stupid and Hunk hated them, but he'd promised Lance he'd be here, positioned directly across from the stone courtyard in front of the house, opposite the mini waterfall and inside these dumb azalea and rose bushes someone planted on a foreign planet.

He'd left the gathering on the excuse that he had to take a call from his Nana who, everyone knew, could prattle on for hours, so he knew no one expected him back any time soon. Lance was giving him a five or ten minute head-start, and then he was going to suggest he and Keith go on a walk while they waited for Hunk to return. Keith would say yes, because he hated standing still and doing nothing, and without Hunk there, they couldn't do the proper yearly tribute they did for all the people they missed.

He eased into the shrubbery, making sure he was well obscured but still had a decently sized opening to shoot photos through, and then started to double check on his camera. He'd just popped the lens cap off when he heard rustling to his right, opposite the way he'd come, and he looked up to see Pidge crouched there, hands holding the bushes open and mouth hanging.

Hunk froze. "Um."

Pidge's eyes shot to his camera, and his shot to her phone in her hand, opened up to the camera app. "Um," she echoed, easing the bushes shut behind her. "S'up?"

"Just…chilling," Hunk managed, twisting the cap of his camera in his fingers. "You?"

"…same."

They stared at one another for a long moment before Pidge finally spoke again. "You're not on a call with your Nana."

"No," Hunk confirmed, even though that was obvious. "And you're not…inside."

In the distance, the door to the house squeaked, and they both whipped their heads towards the sound. "I didn't think Keith _told_ anyone else," Pidge hissed, scrunching in next to Hunk with haste.

Hunk's head was spinning. "Told anyone else-?"

Oh.

Oh, holy _shit._

He clapped a hand over Pidge's mouth to keep her from responding, lowering her phone with his other hand. "I got this," he whispered. "Trust me, they're gonna be so freaked."

Pidge's brow furrowed, and then her eyes widened, likely coming to the same realization that Hunk just had. She nodded and shut off her phone, going silent as Hunk scooted over just a little and eased his camera into position.

Lance and Keith came into sight through Hunk's viewfinder, laughing about something. He caught the words "Coran" and "English Muffin," and he was sure he'd hear all about it later. For now, he relaxed his shoulders and set his finger on the shutter button.

He could hear them more clearly as they got closer, and from his vantage point, Hunk could see just how clearly nervous they both were. How the other didn't notice, he'd never know. He chalked it up, like many things, to them being gay idiots.

"It's really nice out," Lance said, almost stupidly, and Hunk could hear Pidge force down a groan.

Keith, shockingly, didn't notice the awkward way Lance had spoken. "Yeah. All the…stars."

Christ almighty, he was going to die of second hand embarrassment before he took a single photo of them.

They stopped in the spot Lance and Hunk had agreed upon, a little closer to the waterfall than they'd planned. That was probably Keith's doing. They were framed on one side by the waterfall, on the other by a wall of lilies. It was picturesque, and perfect, and how did neither of them notice that the other was reaching into their pockets?

Despite his camera, Pidge was now next to him, on her knees and holding her camera up. She was filming, a mischievous smile on her face, and Hunk couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. This was, as dumb as it was, also incredibly cute.

"Hey so," Lance started, rocking on his heels. "Um, I wanted to talk to you about something."

Keith hesitated, brows crinkling, and he tucked his hands into his jacket pockets, hiding the box again. Hunk internally cursed the choice of words, and he could tell Lance was doing the same. He held up his hands, luckily box free. "Nothing bad," Lance promised him. He reached out, easing Keith's hands out of his pockets to hold them, and Pidge sucked in a breath next to him.

Hunk was sure Keith's box would fall, but it stayed put in the pocket. He breathed a soft sigh of relief.

"I kinda wanted to talk to you too," Keith admitted, offering a small smile. "Also nothing bad. B-But you can go first."

Lance hesitated. "You sure?"

Keith nodded, throat bobbing. "I'm sure."

"Right. Um…" Lance glanced discreetly towards the bushes and, based on the slight furrow of his brows, he either couldn't see Hunk at all, which was the plan, or he could see Hunk AND Pidge, which wasn't the plan, but he wouldn't say anything this close to the proposal. "Right, so…so we've been dating for a while."

Keith's head tilted like a confused puppy. "True."

Lance's hands tightened on his. "Yeah. And um…I've liked it. A lot. You keep me on my toes," he said with a chuckle. Hunk could see his posture loosening as he talked. "You make me a better person, a better fighter, and you challenge me in ways other people haven't. You're kind, and surprisingly punny, and really nice to my niece and nephew, which is like, top tier quality. And you're also like…really hot."

Keith snorted, rolling his eyes, and holy shit, he showed not a single inkling of understanding of what was about to happen. Hunk could not deal with this shit. This was worse than the pining.

Lance took his hands away, swallowing. Hunk tensed his finger. "And I love you. So um…"

Keith jolted as Lance knelt, fumbling with the box in his jacket pocket. Hunk started snapping photos as fast as he could, ignoring the quality in favor of quantity. He'd go back through them later to edit. "Would you-?"

"Hold on," Keith said quickly. Lance froze, looking a little horrified, until Keith shook his head and went fumbling for his pockets. "No, no, not – hold on, I…I made a whole speech, Pidge helped me write it, I'm so bad at words."

When his search brought out his own ring box, Lance clapped a hand over his mouth. Pidge, still beside him, also had a hand over her mouth, probably to prevent squealing peals of laughter. Keith knelt in front of Lance, so that they were both kneeling in front of each other, and held his own box out, face flushed bright pink. "I…Fuck, I forgot the whole speech, you asshole. Marry me?"

Lance was laughing now, shoulders shaking and tears on his cheeks. "I'll say yes if you do."

Keith snorted. "Obviously."

They snapped the boxes shut and Lance cupped Keith's cheeks, kissing him probably hard enough to bruise. Keith's free hand curled in Lance's jacket, and Pidge finally let herself leap up with a wolf whistle and a whoop.

They jerked apart, eyes wide, and Hunk stood up too, waving sheepishly. Keith and Lance looked at one another, back at Hunk and Pidge, and then burst into laughter, leaning against one another. "Oh my god, did you _both_ know about this?" Lance managed.

Pidge shook her head, ending the recording on her phone. Hunk would have to ask for it later. "Nope. Didn't know until about two seconds before you both showed up, when I crawled into the bushes and found Hunk there."

Hunk lifted his camera. "Guilty as charged. Now stop being dumbasses, put the rings on so I can get some aesthetic shots, and then let's go show Shiro and make him cry."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope everyone has been staying well. I know that this shit seems like it's never gonna end, and not everyone is doing great (mentally or physically), but as long as we keep each other safe, we'll get through this. Please stay home, and if your state (US-centric, sorry non-US readers, but also this can apply to you too if your country starts opening back up!) is opening back up soon against better judgement, please continue to practice social distancing. This is far from over, but it'll be over faster if we just stay home as much as possible.
> 
> I love y'all, and please stay safe!


End file.
